made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
