i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
