Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
