why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
