Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
