Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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