and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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