you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize