Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
