Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
