This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
