I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
