Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We're using joints as your birthday candles
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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