that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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