Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
How does one acquire holy water?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
