i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
