I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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