I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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