This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
