I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
