He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
