Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
