Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
