worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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