i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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