She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
