He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
