I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
