i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
