Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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