i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
