Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
