The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
