yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
