I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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