ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
