an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
