Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
