You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
