I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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