I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
