I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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