is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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