you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
