I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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