Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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