Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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