Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
