Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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