I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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