Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
